The incoherent bloggings of a die-hard Star Wars fan.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Currently watching: Battlestar Galactica - Season 2
At long last, I have returned to deviantART.com after a hiatus of over a year, and in this month alone I've nearly tripled the size of my gallery with 72 new deviations and 41 scraps. Check it out. Join deviantART. Favorite all my stuff. hitokirivader.deviantart.com
I know people do this thing where they include song titles or movies they're currently listening to or watching in their blog entries (some blogging sites even include built-in places to enter such things for each entry), and for years I've been doing the same with songs. I used to try and make it so that no two entries would have a song by the same artist, but then I broke that rule a few times. Then I simply started running out of songs I wanted to recommend; at times, I'd hold off on a blog entry for just that reason. And now, I don't even care anymore; I'm not even that into modern music. I thought I'd just stop altogether, but then I keep finding a sporadic urge to put another song title up.
Now, I'm including movies, TV shows, books, any form of entertainment that I could possibly recommend. Perhaps I saw or read it recently, or perhaps it was ages ago. Furthermore, it doesn't have to be every entry. And to kick off the new system, I recommend you see the movie Election. Why? Because it speaks volumes on the morals and ethics of American society, and it's funny, dramatic, and just genius. There.
Speaking of movies, I've never really been a big fan of James Bond, but I've never been more excited about a Bond film than I have with Casino Royale. Though I had different actors in mind for the role, I think Daniel Craig is an excellent choice for Bond. He was excellent in Munich. Anyways, I felt like making this, which features all the Bond actors to date. Clockwise from the left is Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, and at the center is Daniel Craig.
But there's that Bryan Singer flick coming out this summer that I'm far more excited for... ;)
I'm sure many of you are aware of the Chuck Norris "facts" that are floating around the internet and gaining popularity through emails and blogs. Even Chuck Norris himself is aware of them. If not, then here are Bryan Lee's choices for the top 30 facts about Chuck Norris. Enjoy. :)
Chuck Norris has a word for a person he puts into a coma; that word is "lucky."
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris was going to spend a relaxing day watching television when one of those commercials for Trix cereal came on. Angered by what he saw, Chuck Norris spent the rest of what was supposed to be a relaxing day punching every child he came across. He would then shout at them, "Trix are for Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light, not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes just so he can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.
As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris appeared in the Street Fighter II video game but was removed by beta testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles." Chuck Norris did not respond; he simply stared at the man until he exploded.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard." Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other wise men, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick-related deaths.
Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the shit out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.
Chuck Norris does not hunt, because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity--twice.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German plane with his finger by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris can make any woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying, "Booyah."
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
And my personal favorite: The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Lemon Demon - The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
I love Fark.com. See, it's not only because of their awesome Photoshop contests or their quirky news links. A lot of the beauty of Fark comes from the incredibly creative and humorous headlines that people think up and tack onto news stories. A recent thread had Farkers voting for their favorite Fark headlines of 2005, and reading through some of them made me laugh out loud. Here are a selection of my favorites:
Pope denounces materialism from balcony of marble, gold-domed building in midst of jewel-encrusted religious icons while wearing giant gold cross.
Shiite leader's top aide, two others killed in Iraq. Hitting the fan ruled out as cause of death
$100,000 reward for proof of psychic ability. Subjects will be punched in the face and then asked if they saw it coming
911 operator tells caller fire is actually fog. Historic fort catches fog, burns to ground
Bush says he'd welcome Abbas to U.S. but only if they agree to play "Dancing Queen"
Man gets thrown in jail for wearing Grinch mask in public for no reason. His rectum grew three sizes that day
Xbox 360, much like Courtney Love, found to be very unstable, riddled with bugs, and available for $400
Amputees hit the slopes, mostly with their faces and rear ends
Wal-Mart buys 140 Brazilian stores. Total cost expected to be Brazilians of Dollars.
Woman runs off road, hits tree, falls down 30-foot embankment, gets hit by train and survives. Man in black robe with scythe reported muttering at the scene, "I really thought I had her with the train"
Ashlee Simpson collapses and is rushed to Tokyo hospital. Concert goers stay and listen to the rest of the tape
Shuttle explosion delayed until Tuesday
Heidi Klum to marry Seal. Klum: "I'm very happy." Seal: "Wock, wock, wock"
It may soon be illegal to kiss in public or wear penis gourds in Jakarta. Penis-gourd wearers of Indonesia outraged, want to protect penis gourd-wearing rights. Heh, penis gourd. Penis gourd penis gourd penis gourd
Earthquake in Kenya causes residents to run 26.2 miles away
Robert Smith's wife knew what to do when his cancer sent him into a coronary attack thanks to his living will. No, not that Robert Smith, don't worry: There's still no cancer for The Cure
And my personal favorite: Chicago beats Houston four times in a week. Bobby Brown still holds the record
